In celebration of World Breastfeeding Week and National Breastfeeding Month, I’m sharing from our 100 Words Project every day.
Stories from Carol (who wrote two stories that go hand in hand):
I was in pain all the time. Every night my husband would find me topless sitting on the couch with both my daughter and I just crying… her wailing and me just… sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing. I had no one to tell me that this was normal, to not give up. Instead all I heard was “Give her to me I am going to make her a bottle, go to sleep,” From my mom and my (now) husband. So I quit breastfeeding. Not because I couldn’t breastfeed, but because I no longer wanted to (Or so I thought.)
Breastfeeding was hard. Quitting breastfeeding was harder. I felt like anyone could do what I did. I felt like my baby was dead. I had no interest in her any longer. I was waiting to give this kid I was babysitting back. I spiraled into PPD. It’s like a knife through my heart to say that I didn’t love or bond with my daughter till she was 9 months old. I was going through the motions. Anyone could give a baby a bottle. Only a mother could nourish a baby at her breast. I didn’t feel like a mother.
Stories can be submitted for publication to this blog by emailing them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please keep them to 100 words or less. Before publication, stories will be edited only for minor spelling/grammatical errors. If the stories will be published in any other medium or venue, other than this blog, your permission will be obtained. Feel free to widely share this post and encourage others to also submit their stories.