Tonight, amid the homework and pizza and playing with friends and tucking in, I spent my time on the couch, staring at my computer screen. I was transfixed. I was mesmerized. And I invited my daughter to stare into the screen as well…
We were watching as Jessica (known to many as “The Leaky Boob“) labored and labored and labored with her baby. Labored beautifully. Labored strong. As a way to normalized birth and take away fear, she was livestreaming her birth online.
I’ll admit that the thought of inviting my daughter to join me came much later in the evening than I would have wished. We talk a lot in our home about how birth and breastfeeding are normal. Maybe so normal that I forgot that she’s never seen a woman bringing a baby into the world before.
I called her over and she was so enthralled. While we’ve discussed many times the “how to” of birth, without a visual, there was very little understanding for her (isn’t it that way for so many of us?). She asked why Jessica was moaning. Why she was kneeling the way she was. Why they were pushing on her hips. How long is a contraction? How much does it hurt? Why does it look like she is falling asleep? Why were they at home and not at the hospital?
These were precious moments. She learned things that I didn’t even know when I birthed her 10 years ago.
I finally sent her to bed at 10:00pm, with much hesitation on both our parts. I promised to wake her when it was time for the baby to come.
Why did I invite her to join me? Because I believe birth is normal. That women are capable. That we were designed for this unique work. I want my daughter to believe that her birth will be normal. That she is capable and that she was designed to do this as well.
* The sweet little one entered the world just before midnight. I was just getting ready to go awake her when it happened so fast! I went to share the good news but she is off in dream world. We’ll celebrate in the morning.
I am thankful for those who are strong and brave and risk public comments in one of the most significant and intimate moments of life. There is beauty in this world and my daughter and I were witness to it tonight. I feel wildly strong and capable to have shared this moment with others, including the growing woman, who may someday birth her own little one, sleeping amid pink pillows and fluffy stuffed animals upstairs.
Michelle Wiederman says
My 9 year old daughter and I watched too…well, she feel asleep much before baby Arden arrived, but HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?!?!?!
Sheri says
Amber, I couldn’t agree more. my daughter and my mom were watching with me, at The Outback of all places. I’ve talked a lot about birth but it dawned on me that Morgan had never had any exposure. At first she was kind of embarrassed and nervous, then we all got into it. The waitress came over, got hooked and little Arden popped into the world with 10 random people cheering. None of them had seen a baby born, and a couple of them were young girls that I know have a drastically different view of birth now. I’m beyond grateful that Morgan got to see this. Your point that we talk about this all the time, but our daughters are clean slates hits home with me. I feel so lucky that I knew about the birth, could watch it myself, let alone have Morgan see a baby born at such an important time in her life. Change requires exposure to what is normal. I think witnessing a birth is one of the most powerful experiences a woman has in her life. I feel honored to have “been there” for this one.
Kelly says
Wish I would have been online more and more of a follower of Leaky Boob to know she was doing this! Although my oldest was a month shy of 3 and we hadn’t planned it, I’m so thankful she was present-fully- (she gave me bath toys!) when her sister was born! She heard my deep beautiful moaning through the contractions, saw me at my most vulnerable-in pain, naked, in the tub. She saw me find somewhere deep within me the strength to push Emma out and into the world. She watched me breastfeed for a year. All normal and natural. I hope she is even more eager to watch this process again when it happens.
So great you shared this with your daughter!
Katy says
I watched and watched until my pregnant body couldn’t stay up any later. I’m so sad I missed the birth by literally minutes. 🙁
How amazing and powerful to share that with your beautiful daughter. When I was pregnant with my 2nd, the oldest and I watched lots of ‘House of Babies’ to get her prepared for what was to come. Bringing a life into the world is so amazing…
Mindy says
Watching Jessica last night, was a moment I wished my daughter was older (only 4 months right now) and able to share in that special moment with me. I was transfixed to my computer all day long (got NOTHING done around the house…lol)and eagerly awaited the birth. It was so beautiful and so special to have her share it with the world!
Kim says
Welcome to the world Arden and thank you Jessica for sharing such a beautiful moment. I was very lucky in that I had the live stream turned up loud, I stopped my juicer as a carrot got stuck and heard some excitement and rushed to the computer just as Arden was being born, just amazing and it has made me even more determined for a home birth next time (son was 5.5wks prem so it was out of my hands). Thank you, all the way from Western Australia 🙂
Sara Haley says
ABSOLUTELY LOVE this!!!!!! I WISH someone had done this with me when I was younger. I just recently attended my first birth (other than my own two…) and it was -amazing-!! Kudos to her for sharing her time so publicly and to you for inviting your daughter to be part of it!! <3 <3 <3!!
Audrey says
I watched in Awe last night while BF’ing my HB little man. She is such a strong woman! I had thought of “Broadcasting” my labor and birth to my friends overseas who could not make it for obvious reasons but with the tiem difference i couldnt wake them… I have 3 children the 2 youngest were born in a home setting. My oldest was present at his sisters birth 4 years ago at age 6 it was his choice which my husband and I both fully supported (we left the final decision up to him and his comfort level). my daughter and youngest sister who is 10 were there when I delivered our youngest son 5 mths ago. They were there through my quick labor and even quicker birth. they got to experience it and were never once frightened bc of what they were seeing. we explained things to them why I was doing the things I was doing, the sounds I was making and why, and answered any and all questions they had. They got to witness first hand the wonderfulness of what a womans body can do. now if we watch a bith show on TV my daughter asks why they are screaming (bc I never did) or why they are in a hospital even gets mad at the TV if she sees a woman going in for a Csection… i have had to explain that some ladies need to have Surgery to help their babies be born but that this is NOT the norm. She accepts this but doesnt like that “mommies have to be cut to have babies”. my son understands that women are strong and not to underestimate us.
Lesley says
I was hooked last night! What an amazing experience! I was always a little afraid of a home birth but last night everything was so normal & calm & just so smooth. I was truly impressed! While I’ve always believed that a woman’s body was made to birth & feed babies & occasionally snarkily tell naysayers that “milk comes out of my boobs for a reason,” I never really thought about installing the normalcy of birth to my 3 daughters. Thanks for the eye opener! Obviously since I breast fed all of my children they accept that as the norm, but I never thought about doing the same with birthing. I will definitely make it a point for them to realize that they are strong, confident & capable of birthing a baby in whatever way is most comfortable for them. Thanks again!