(photo credit: www.allsparkfireworks.com)
I had a moment today.
One of those ugly-cry-sobbing-because-you-are-so-moved-and-you-turn-the-radio-to-the-max-and-sing-your-heart-out kind of moments.
I’m sorry to anyone who saw me in the carpool line at the school and wondered what the heck was wrong with me.
And my moment was because of Katy Perry. I know, I know…she of “I Kissed A Girl” and “California Girls” fame. Bubblegum pop that makes me question what message we’re sending to our daughters sometimes. But today she got me.
Believe me, the image of the sparks shooting out of her boobs is not lost on me!
You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe you’re reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what you’re worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
And immediately I thought, “What if we talked to moms like this?” What if we quit with the “Mommy Wars” and competition and trying to be the best, smartest, richest, fastest, most connected and simple told her that she was amazing. That she is worth it. What if we quit laying on the guilt, telling her that she failed because she didn’t do things our way. What if we quit judging her because of the way her children behave and instead let her parenting be messy because she’s going after the heart of her child.
This blog and my breastfeeding support business are built upon the belief that we were uniquely created for this role. That our body’s ability to nourish our child is not an accident. That we have innate instincts that were born in us for a reason.
Moms today have lost trust in their own instincts. We run to the latest blog post or Facebook status to affirm or deny any thought we have. We have to “check our sources”. Nothing exists if it isn’t tweeted. We have to keep meticulous scrapbooks because, heaven forbid, we don’t have every minute detail records for eternity (full disclosure: I’m a member of Scrapbookers Anonymous).
What if we just stopped the madness and began to believe in ourselves. If we believed that this spark, the one that is there on purpose, would light up and drive us forward, we’d all be rock stars! We’d quit feeling like we had to be all things to all people.
I see so many moms in their “hurricane” time. As I enter the room, my soul longs to just reach out and tell them that there is hope and there is support. I can’t tell you what power is in the room when I watch a mom “become” a mom. When she finally believes that what she is doing, how she is nourishing, is not only possible but amazing.
Last weekend, at the conference I attended, one session included a video of a mom who was “becoming”. The video was filmed at a lactation consult for significant oral anatomy issues and the IBCLC who was working with her is a known expert on such issues. The video had the potential to be clinical and sterile. Instead, we were given the gift of the weekend by being able to watch it. The mom, hesitant and unsure at first, kept asking things like “Am I doing this right? Are you sure this is ok?” And then, the baby miraculously latched! You could literally see the mom gaining confidence, see her belly warm and something happen within her. She began speaking to the baby, cheering him on, totally engaging and in the process, becoming this being who was bonded and connected with what was happening in her and with her baby.
I want to help moms find those kinds of moments. I think they are radical to our pictures of ourselves and our mothering.
I think they are radical because I had one myself today.
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So, if you ever see me rockin’ out in the carpool lane, just know that I’m letting my sparks fly!